How to Prove Financial Abuse: A Comprehensive Guide for Survivors and Legal Professionals

1. Create a Confidential Documentation System

Establish a secure record-keeping workflow and update it regularly. Safety must come first—if you are in imminent danger, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233).

• Open a private email account unknown to the abuser.
• Use password-protected devices or encrypted cloud storage (e.g., Google Drive, Dropbox).
• Store physical copies in a safe location outside the home (trusted friend, safe deposit box, attorney’s office).
• Maintain a dated journal describing incidents, conversations, and outcomes.

2. Gather Financial Documents

Collect everything you can access legally, including:

Bank & Investment Accounts

• Statements for all checking, savings, investment, and retirement accounts (joint and individual).
• Evidence of accounts you are blocked from accessing.
• Records of unexplained withdrawals, transfers, or balance changes.
• Screenshots of online banking dashboards (with timestamps if possible).

Income Records

• Pay stubs for both parties.
• Three to five years of tax returns.
• Business financial statements and profit-and-loss reports.
• Evidence of unreported or “cash only” income.

Credit & Debt

• Credit reports from all three bureaus (AnnualCreditReport.com).
• Credit card statements showing unauthorized charges.
• Loan documents you never knew existed.
• Evidence of debt taken out in your name without consent.

Assets & Expenses

• Property deeds, mortgages, vehicle titles, and insurance policies.
• Cryptocurrency wallets, brokerage accounts, or other digital assets.
• Utility bills, children’s expenses, medical bills, and household budgets.
• Proof that your own earnings were seized or controlled.

3. Document Specific Abusive Behaviors

Create a detailed timeline of control tactics, sabotage, and exploitation.

• Control tactics: Denied access, forced allowances, withheld information, or coerced signatures.
• Sabotage: Job interference, credit destruction, falsified tax filings, or property neglect.
• Economic exploitation: Forced labor, confiscated earnings, or fraudulent use of your identity.
• Communications: Preserve texts, emails, voicemail, social media posts, and witness statements.

4. Identify Hidden Assets and Income

Financial abusers often hide money to retain power or prepare for divorce. Warning signs include:

• Spending habits that exceed reported income.
• Ambiguous answers about “business” or investment matters.
• Redirected mail, hidden statements, or sudden bank account closures.
• Large cash withdrawals or transfers to unknown recipients.

Investigative actions to consider:

• Review tax returns for undisclosed income streams.
• Search property and business registries for undisclosed holdings.
• Analyze bank statements for repeating transfers or unusual vendors.
• Engage a forensic accountant when accounts span multiple entities or countries.

Technology can help level the playing field. The Thrive Financial platform organizes documents, flags anomalies, and surfaces hidden accounts so survivors and legal teams can command the full financial narrative.

5. Get Professional Help

Survivors rarely have to walk this path alone. Consider building a multidisciplinary team:

• Forensic accountants who can trace funds, uncover hidden assets, and testify in court.
• Divorce-focused financial advisors to evaluate short- and long-term impacts.
• Credit counselors to rebuild damaged histories.
• Family law attorneys with experience in coercive financial control.
• Victim advocates or legal aid for survivors without access to private counsel.

The Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts maintains a directory of professionals familiar with financial abuse cases.

6. Establish Your Own Financial Independence

While gathering evidence, start building a safety net:

• Open a bank account at a new institution (use secure email statements).
• Start an emergency fund in your own name.
• Pull your credit report and freeze it, if appropriate.
• Change passwords and enable multifactor authentication.
• Create a post-separation budget and income plan.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline can help incorporate financial security into your safety plan.

7. Understand Legal Options

Documented financial abuse can influence multiple legal avenues:

• Divorce proceedings: Unequal asset division, enhanced spousal support, reimbursement for dissipated assets, temporary restraining orders, and court-ordered transparency.
• Criminal actions: Identity theft, fraud, forgery, or theft charges.
• Civil remedies: Lawsuits for financial damages or tort claims for emotional distress.
• Credit disputes: Removing fraudulent accounts and repairing reports.

Laws vary by jurisdiction. The American Bar Association Commission on Domestic & Sexual Violence offers resources to locate qualified counsel.